I feel as if there’s a general negative opinion regarding the investment banker—they’re considered untrustworthy, womanizing, shallow users who will sell their grandparents for a buck (or less than that, if they can procure some kind of monthly interest payment-deal that yields a higher overall NPV…).
Well, whether that’s true or not, I think we can observe the Wharton social state and get some explanation for some of this—after all, a healthy number of NYC’s bankers come straight out of UPenn, my alma mater (since May 16th!).
As many people know, it’s quite competitive—you have classes where you evaluate your group members, and those evals feed directly into your final grade. "Survivor Whartonia" anyone?
For much of the Wharton core, whether or not you get an ‘A’ depends on whether you are part of the top 25 percent among your classmates. They say there’s no “Wharton curve,” but that’s generally how it works. Healthy competition is good for business though, right?
But what about developing our social skills—friendships, relationships, etc.? Is there a class that will teach us how to be friendly and polite, or is that assumed to be common knowledge for most?
Unfortunately, these days, the important social graces are being ignored and pushed to the wayside as texting, IM, and Tweeting change the way we get in touch, meet, and network. And while that may be ok most of the time, there are occasions when knowing what to say and how to act, in person, can make a big difference. While you may be tempted to simply text or email someone, you may find that actually calling or making the effort to meet with someone in person can seriously pay off. Time is, IMUPO, an appreciating currency that can yield a profitable dividend, if you allocate it correctly.
So what does this have to do with relationships?
The issue we see more often these days is that men (and women) are accustomed to the type of "instant gratification," "quick answer" via text, email, Tweet, etc.--to the extent that people are getting into things faster than ever before, and not really thinking them through or getting to know someone in person.
Which is where the frat party hookups come into the picture--guys host their fratitats (frat-habitats, whether it's a house, apt, condo, etc) w/beer and music, and have girls come to them. Then blah blah, drink drink, blah drink, hookup, etc.
The girl can say “I don’t normally do this”-which is code for “don’t think me slutty or easy because of this particular hookup,” but the effect (or lack of) is the same. You got what you wanted, he got what he wanted, everyone's happy. Just don't expect him to call you, or even ask for your number. He may try to find you on facebook--if he remembers your name.
Lesson: Be more reality than surreality, more 'I am' than IM, and more face-time than Facebook time.
xo,
Shannon
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