Happy Father's Day 2010! From G2G :)

Happy Father's Day 2010! From G2G :)

 

Today I read this article on MSN called "10 things my father was right about."

 

In honor of Father's Day and that article, here are some things that I remember from growing up:

 

1) Camping with him--building a tent, cooking on a fire, using the **gasp** woods -- as a bathroom...

 

2) The time dad tried to teach me how to use measuring cups (like 1/8 cup is half of 1/4 cup, etc.) and I ran away crying because it didn't make sense (I think I was 5 or 6 at the time)

 

3) The time I picked flowers in the backyard and brought them inside to give my dad, and he wasted no time in giving the harsh truth: "Shannon, guys don't like getting flowers."

4) Dad was the one I always woke up when I saw a spider or cricket in my room- he promptly killed it with a shoe

 

5) The time I almost got mugged on Halloween--I came home and my Dad went looking for the crazy teenagers, and scared them off for me

 

6) My dad almost always washed the dishes- even when I should have been washing after myself

 

7) Dad's weird Russian hat with the ear flaps

 

8) The occasional "cuss word" :) hehe

 

9) When I told my dad how much I hated my summer job one year, he said "well, at least they're paying you!" (err thanks for the silver lining...though I don't think you should take a job that makes you miserable--at least not permanently)

 

10) Last month I was at home and my dad asked about my post-graduation plans, and whether or not I was dating a nice Christian boy. 

I said "Dad, I just want a guy who treats me really well.  I'm not going to settle.  I mean, I just want him to try, you know? I want him to make an effort for me.  Oh, and I want him to be really really smart. Brilliant." 

He smiled and responded "Are you sure about that?"

and then followed with an interesting, possibly backhanded piece of advice-- "Ok, just be sure you're the type of girl that he would want to pursue."
"Ok Dad." **smiles**

 

With love to all dads!

 

xo,

Shannon  

 

 

 

Exactly How Real is a 'Real Person'? Fakeness and Perfection

I was going through old handwritten letters--I find it hard to throw these away-- and this piece of Mariana's letter to me from a year ago struck me as interesting:

I just started this book on Pop Culture (Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs- Chuck Klosterman)

and came across some interesting lines...

1) Real people are actively trying to live like fake people, so real people are no less fake

(...the first part is def true...hoping for the perfect romantic relationship, ideal guy & life, like in all those movies. Comparing our problems to the media..."That's just like on that episode of Sex & the City!"/Movie XYZ,etc...)

...

Are we really trying to live like fake people?

After all, fake people seem to be just exaggerated dramatizations of real people, which is why they catch on and have fans. Because they're interesting and catchy, not like "real people" which are boring because they appear to be stuck in routines, right? 

Since I am a "real person," does that mean that I, too, am trying to be fake?

I try to make my life interesting by trying new things and learning all the time, and of course I want things to be perfect and happy, but life is really about the journey, so you just have to enjoy it as it comes, right?

Hoping for things to get better is important because you should never settle.

I would agree that many movies and TV shows are "fake" in the sense that they are so "clichè" and contain characters that will never exist, but if they're things that we aspire to have and be, then I guess trying to be 'fake' isn't so bad after all. 

What does this have to do with relationship advice?

Fake-schmake. 

If you are hoping for the 'perfect relationship,' I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Just keep in mind that "perfect" doesn't always mean that every second of every day is happy-- it's ok to have highs and lows, because that makes things interesting, and if things were always happy, you would get bored or take it for granted...and therefore "real" because you're stuck in an un-interesting routine.

Cheers to 2010 fakeness.

xo,

Shannon

The Style Blogger!

The Style Blogger!

 

Hi everyone,

  One of my friends recently told me about theStyleblogger.com

 

That is one well-dressed man. 

 

Check it out!

xo,
Shannon
 

Bored of the Flies? A Look at Other Types of Pants...

Note: I chose this topic because I thought of the o-so-witty title first...
Content removed by author due to randomness/stretched concept...

xo,

Shannon

Guys and Malls: Why Guys' Clothes are Usually on the Right, or in the Front...

People talk about how much women love shopping. It's just stereotypically one of our gender's favorite places.



As for men-some like it, some hate it. But just as women receive tips on "places to meet men," men have figured (correctly) that shopping malls are places where there are lots of women.

Unfortunately, guys also don't like approaching women in groups, and we tend to shop with friends.
But for the guys who go shopping with girls, it's interesting to note how clothes stores are designed.
From AskMen.com "Why do Men Hate Shopping?" by Austin Silver:
Apparently, professionals have taken time out to set up stores for men and women in strategic ways, so that guys are encouraged to look around and buy clothes for themselves. How, you ask? Well, more often than not, men's clothing can usually be found on the right-hand side of the store because people (men and women) typically look towards the right upon entering.


As well, if it's a front-to-back setup, guys' items will always be found in the front (or on the main floor if there's more than one) because women have no problem venturing through men's clothing to get to their own, but guys usually will not make the effort.

Also, "guys go shopping with the intent of purchasing specific items whereas women will usually roam around until something catches their eye"-for us, we make shopping more of a journey, whereas the guy usually knows what he likes.
"Retail Therapy": shopping with the primary purpose of improving the buyer's mood or disposition. Often seen in people during periods of depression or transition, it is normally a short-lived habit. Items purchased during periods of retail therapy are sometimes referred to as "comfort buys".


Speaking for myself, I happen to know the "story" behind almost every piece of clothing I own. What I bought it for, when, designer, etc...whereas guys (usually) have no idea, or maybe a ballpark estimate.


xo,
Shannon
Article Link: http://www.askmen.com/daily/austin/44_fashion_style.html
Also "Men Shop Too: How to Market to Men" by Bob Deutsch
Takeaways: 4 fundamental differences and their impact on marketing -
Time, Causality, Space, Other People
http://www.reachingwomendaily.com/2010/04/22/men-shop-too-how-to-market-to-men/

From GQ Style: How to Buy a Watch

Interesting. As a girl who does not wear one, I was pretty impressed. This article is a couple years old, but I like it.
http://www.gq.com/how-to/fashion/200704/gq-guide-buy-a-watch-slideshow#slide=1

5 Key Terms they Mention:

1. Complication
Any function of a watch that goes beyond simple timekeeping. Could be an annual or lunar calendar, could be something as basic as a stopwatch.

2. Movement
All those bits and pieces inside that run the thing.

3. Quartz
A movement powered by a battery and regulated by the oscillations of a quartz crystal. It’s way more accurate than other watch types—which isn’t to say we necessarily recommend you buy one.

4. Self-winding
A type of mechanical watch, containing a rotor on a pivot, that’s wound by the day-to-day movements of the wearer’s wrist. It’s also referred to as automatic.

5. Water-resistant
Just because a watch says it’s water-resistant doesn’t mean you should swim or shower with it on. To be safe, only do so if it’s water-resistant up to one hundred meters.

Steve McQueen wore this one in his film Le Mans!

Happy memorial day everyone!
xo,

Shannon

College Hookup Culture, the Social Beginnings of the I-Banker, and Girl-Advice Pt 2.

I feel as if there’s a general negative opinion regarding the investment banker—they’re considered untrustworthy, womanizing, shallow users who will sell their grandparents for a buck (or less than that, if they can procure some kind of monthly interest payment-deal that yields a higher overall NPV…).



Well, whether that’s true or not, I think we can observe the Wharton social state and get some explanation for some of this—after all, a healthy number of NYC’s bankers come straight out of UPenn, my alma mater (since May 16th!).



As many people know, it’s quite competitive—you have classes where you evaluate your group members, and those evals feed directly into your final grade. "Survivor Whartonia" anyone?
For much of the Wharton core, whether or not you get an ‘A’ depends on whether you are part of the top 25 percent among your classmates. They say there’s no “Wharton curve,” but that’s generally how it works. Healthy competition is good for business though, right?


But what about developing our social skills—friendships, relationships, etc.? Is there a class that will teach us how to be friendly and polite, or is that assumed to be common knowledge for most?

Unfortunately, these days, the important social graces are being ignored and pushed to the wayside as texting, IM, and Tweeting change the way we get in touch, meet, and network. And while that may be ok most of the time, there are occasions when knowing what to say and how to act, in person, can make a big difference. While you may be tempted to simply text or email someone, you may find that actually calling or making the effort to meet with someone in person can seriously pay off. Time is, IMUPO, an appreciating currency that can yield a profitable dividend, if you allocate it correctly.



So what does this have to do with relationships?



The issue we see more often these days is that men (and women) are accustomed to the type of "instant gratification," "quick answer" via text, email, Tweet, etc.--to the extent that people are getting into things faster than ever before, and not really thinking them through or getting to know someone in person.


Which is where the frat party hookups come into the picture--guys host their fratitats (frat-habitats, whether it's a house, apt, condo, etc) w/beer and music, and have girls come to them. Then blah blah, drink drink, blah drink, hookup, etc.


The girl can say “I don’t normally do this”-which is code for “don’t think me slutty or easy because of this particular hookup,” but the effect (or lack of) is the same. You got what you wanted, he got what he wanted, everyone's happy. Just don't expect him to call you, or even ask for your number. He may try to find you on facebook--if he remembers your name.


Lesson: Be more reality than surreality, more 'I am' than IM, and more face-time than Facebook time.


xo,

Shannon

Relationship Acronyms

Hi,


Here are a couple of helpful acronyms--for anyone (adapted from an entry in my older blog circa 2009)

Number 1, is NCMO. Pronounced "Nick-moe"
NCMO = "Non committal make out"

The first time i heard it was over the phone: "I just wanted a nickmoe"
Me: "What?"
Her: "Yeah, i am trying to get over my last relationship, so it was good for me."
Me: "Wait, nick-moe?!?!"
Her: "Non-committal make out. You've NEVER heard of that??"

Number 2: "DTR." Pronounced: just as the letters are, "Dee-tee-are"
Define the Relationship.

The same person I was talking to on the phone told me about how the guy she was NCMOing started "trying to DTR" afterward....

just an FYI :)

Or is it "a FYI"?

It's "an FYI" if you're acronyming, and "a For Your Information" if it's long-version.
xo,
Shannon

The Necessity of Social Consulting- Excerpt from WSJ Interview

Article by Elizabeth Garone



Commentary in pink


Link: http://bit.ly/cNDNKj
"A Matchmaker With a Rich Niche"- Interview with Patti Stanger, of Millionaire Matchmaker


Q: So, your job isn't just about matching people up for dates or relationships? You do the prep work.


A: [Early on] I realized coaching was three-quarters of what we do in matchmaking. It's not really just getting them on the date. It's making sure they know what to do and say on the date, like you see on the show. It's asking, "How was the date?" "What did you wear?" "What did you eat?" "What did you do?" "How did you ask her out for the next time?"
Exactly! Usually if he/she is a millionaire and hasn't had many lasting relationships, there is something with the personality/style/image that isn't working. That's where G2G comes in!
We realize that not everyone is socially equal--some are just naturally cool and charistmatic, others not so much.
How You Can Get There, Too


Best advice: "You have to follow what you know to be true," says Ms. Stanger. "If I listened to everybody else, I would never be doing what I'm doing now."
True! This goes for everyone. Matchmakers, matched, singles...do what you love.

Skills you need: The essentials are intuition, a sixth sense, seeing both sides of the story, and knowing what the truth is, says Ms. Stanger. "It's not just fixing people up. It's also counseling all day long. It's like being a therapist."


xo,
Shannon

"Sex and the Ivy" - Does Smart Want Smarter?

In general, many women ask for a guy that is "smart." Isn't that what we all want?



So, exactly how smart?


For some, that means 'graduated from an Ivy-league or similar.' Although that isn't a sure-fire indicator of a certain level of intelligence, people use that as a general rule. After all, there are 'certain' stereotypes attached, and those stuck because they were/are somewhat true.

 But what do guys think of this?

From my experience, they seem aware of the fact that many girls, at least from ivies, seem to be looking for guys from the same educational tier.


Although many girls will say they 'don't judge/don't care,' they still do a little.



Otherwise, guys would have no reason to say they went somewhere they didn't...which has happened to Mariana and me both, on separate occasions. Whilst at Smokey Joe's college bar on 40th st., I was approached by a guy from Uni of the Arts who had originally told me he was in Wharton studying Finance, and, to my recollection "crazy OCRing" (On-Campus-Recruiting for jobs).

Mariana met a guy from "Yale, Class of 09" who actually went to Bryant.

Why did they feel they had to say this? It's pretty sad if you feel like you have to lie about your credentials in order to impress a girl. Just be honest, but let your actions speak for themselves, and she'll see that you're smart--at least, smart enough to charm and impress by virtue of sheer conversational abilities...

A guy who can be on the same intellectual level-and not arrogant or condescending-gets a lot of brownie points. People just 'click' better when they understand each other and can humor themselves in a way the other person can appreciate.

And it doesn't take an ivy degree to realize that.


So be wise and don't (always) improvise.

xo,

Shannon

Guy Smells 2010: What we Like in Men's Fragrances

So I've been doing a little research on colognes--what kind most women like (if there is one overwhelming-favorite), and what kinds they don't.



Many of these are not brand-new for 2010--rather, the classics we notice and love.


Here are some of women's favorite fragrances on men (using web polls, asking fellow 20-somethings, and the discretion of yours truly):


1) Acqua di Gio, by Giorgio Armani: "Transparent, modern, and masculine." -Sephora.com

This one is a personal favorite--even a smoker can wear this and I would be attracted to him.

2) Fierce, by Abercrombie & Fitch --this is the cologne they spray all over the store, even on the women's clothes. Distinct and fresh.

"FIERCE's scent is an immediate attention getter and rightly so. Its fresh citrus aroma is the first aspect she'll notice because of its clean, poised attitude. However, it's FIERCE's warm musky subtleness that will naturally draw her curiosity because of its seductive nature."
-Abercrombie.com



3) Bottled Night by Hugo Boss-new one for 2010!

"a new evening version of 1998’s Boss Bottled fragrance for men."
If it's anything like "Boss" by Hugo Boss, it's good.



4) Polo Blue, by Ralph Lauren.

Another big favorite (also Polo Black)


"The freedom of the big, blue sky, the energy of the open waters, an invigorating blast of fresh air. Polo Ralph Lauren Blue is a new definition of casual elegance. Cool, fresh, warm spice. A crystal blue sensation." -Ralph Lauren website (http://bit.ly/dzl8q7)

5) Le Male, by Jean Paul Gaultier


"The Pleasure of Smelling Good Differently."-Gaultier website, which is very cool btw. Interesting bottle too.

6) "Play" - by Givenchy


I first saw this one in an Elle magazine--I ended up pulling out the ad sample and smelling it every 5 minutes.

It is the one endorsed by JT. So guys, make it "number 1 on your 'play'-list" (sad Lady Gaga reference, sorry)

That's it for now!


In terms of "bad colognes"- some general advice:


A) We like cologne, but not when there's too much, so don't bathe in it. Even a good cologne can smell bad when it's too overpowering.


B) There are some colognes that smell "old" because our grandfather wears it. This will vary, but maybe ditch the Old Spice.


C) Maybe ditch baby-powder-smelling fragrances too (check your deodorant label!)


xo,
Shannon

At 21, Here are 21 Things I Know About Dating (Girl Advice Pt.1)

So one of my good friends recently sent me this article-- it's by 31-yr old blogger Erin Meanley-- called "31 Things I wish I had know about dating when I was 21."



Link: http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=23779082


Well, at 21, I must say that I agree with most of what she wrote-- most, but not all.


Here are my own 21 pieces of advice, taken from various books, experiences, and advice I've been given over the years:
1) When a guy who "texts you out" for that same evening or next-day, you ignore it. If he really wants to see you, he'll ask you out at least 2 days in advance. Don't accept boo-tay calls, because that's what it is.


2) My advice for the first 3 dates: Smile, be happy, polite, smell nice, look hot, and shut up.


3) Don't pay for anything on the first 3 dates. Don't even offer to pay. I know it may sound biatchy, but it emasculates him when you do that. Let the guy take care of you/show you that he can.


4) Don't travel cross-country to see him until he has traveled to see you--at least twice. Even if he offers to pay your plane ticket or w/e, don't accept. He should come and see you first.


5) Don't be so quick to reply to email messages/FB chats/FB messages,etc....if you tend to always write within 5 mins, stop doing this-- if you have nothing else to do, write the email but save it as a draft and wait a few hours/days...you want to have at least a semblance of life outside cybermedia(if that's a word)


6) I agree with Erin on the cooking thing-- guys' #1 complaint about women is that they don't cook! (this was in Patti Stanger's book too!)

7) Some guys will say stuff like "Maybe we'll travel there next year, if we're still together" or "I want to get married at so-and-so"-- you don't have to say anything here-- just smile.
8) If a guy tries to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do, or isn't supportive of something you want to do (i.e. he gives criticism that's not constructive)-- he's got issues, and wants to make himself feel better/smarter by putting you down. That's a no-no, and stop talking to him.
9) Going along with number 8 -- only spend time with those who enjoy spending time with you. I know it sounds simple, but a lot of girls get stuck in these 'ruts' where they're taking care of a guy who treats them badly.

10) Don't have more than two drinks on any one date. At least until you're in a committed relationship.


11) Even if you're not a princess, let yourself be treated like one, esp. in the beginning.


12) Don't settle (this is the number 1 advice we heard from real-life "Hitch" dating doctor David Coleman when he came to speak at Drexel -- see http://www.datingdoctor.com/) --basically, you deserve to be with someone who treats you well!
13) When it comes to gifts, don't get him anything skanky, too expensive, or over-the-top. At least until you're engaged or married.


14) Say 'thank you' at the end of the date-- you don't have to call him or text to say what a great time you had.
15) Remember to be happy and nice-- but not stupid. I don't mean you have to talk about the stock market on a date, but maybe keep up with news,etc so you do have things to talk about.
16) However, don't feel like you have to entertain him. If anything, he should be feeling pressure to entertain you. After all, he asked you out (right??)

17) Going along with 16, don't feel obligated to talk just to fill up a silence. It will sound forced and (usually) dumb.


18) Don't overanalyze. Most girls do this, esp. for a guy they like. It's ok to think about it I guess, just don't let it make you do something forward/brash- so if you're going to analyze, do it internally and don't act on it.


19) Let things progress naturally--i.e. don't have expectations like "after 3 weeks we're officially 'together,' " etc... love is not like math formulas


20) I wholeheartedly agree with Patti Stanger's rule "No sex before monogamy"-- it just makes sense. And as she says, "don't think you can get around this with a blowjob. In my estimation, 'in is in'--it's all sex to me, and to him."
http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Millionaire-Matchmakers-Dating-Commandments

21) "The most important relationship you will have in your life is the relationship you have with yourself" -Diane von Furstenberg

xo,Shannon

Victoria may have secrets, but Tiffany wears her heart on her sleeve...or bracelet or ring or necklace.

"Nowhere is a Tiffany diamond more beautiful or more treasured than in its place of honor, on the hand of a woman."

--Tiffany & Co. Gemology Standards book

On Monday morning, Mariana and I made our way to the Philadelphia Tiffany & Co. on Walnut Street. We met Natalie, a graduate gemologist and sales professional, to give us an informational on the ever-sought-after Tiffany engagement rings, and also a visit around to the other Tiffany Collections.

Seriously an awesome experience-- and pretty much everything we can tell is included in their 2 informational handbooks (covers below):

Also on Tiffany.com
Big takeaways:


-The 4 C's they look at when choosing diamonds for collections: cut, color, clarity, and carat weight.
-All engagement rings are made from platinum or yellow gold; brochure showed three different fonts available for engraving.
-There is no custom-ring design accepted-- all rings are created by Tiffany, and the size of the ring or carat can be changed/differ, the Tiffany, Lucida, Novo, Bezet, Etoile and Legacy settings are what you're choosing--see http://www.tiffany.com/Engagement/Browse.aspx#p+1-n+6-cg+-c+-s+-r+-t+-ri+-ni+1-x+-pu+-f+1/0/0/0/0/0 (however, there's a pretty wide range from these combinations, so most people can find what they want)
-Website has the selection of Fancy Shapes, and a wider range of cuts. Here's the round brilliant Princess-cut in Tiffany Setting (most popular engagement ring!):

-"The Tiffany round brilliant-cut stone has 57 or 58 precisely aligned facets that work together in absolute geometric unison."-from "The Physics of Beauty," pg. 21 in Standards Handbook

The books give you the math of the shiny-ness, and outlines their standards for 'superlative' quality diamonds:

According to Natalie, most men already have an idea of the type of ring their significant other wants, and the style they will choose -- only once has a new fiance brought in her engagement ring to change it within the week (when you want a bigger rock, you get a bigger rock).

-Younger couples come in to get promise rings as well, and they'll often choose from the "artist collections" like Elsa Peretti for Tiffany, or Paloma Picasso. ther artist collections include Frank Gehry, Jean Schlumberger.

-The launch of the "Tiffany Keys" was one of the most successful launches to date; the pieces are inspired by old keys found in a Tiffany warehouse:

-The "Atlas" collection is also one on my favorites, designed after the Greek titan Atlas. "Hanging above each of the Tiffany stores is a roman numeral clock that is supported by Atlas himself. Hence, the roman numerals that are used on the entire collection."

Some of these pieces are similar to a compass rose, except the directions are the numerals...

 

Above: Compass Rose, and Tiffany Atlas Ring.

Overall, I would say the experience did a lot more for satisfying our own curiosity about the wonder and international renown that is attached to the Tiffany brand.

But we hope you liked it, too. And as for you guys, pretty much anything from this place will do the trick. Victoria may have secrets, but Tiffany wears her heart on her sleeve...or bracelet or ring or necklace.

We'll leave you with a quote from one of our fave movies:

"...Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling? Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's..."

-Holly Golightly, Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1961

xo,

Shannon

For Nice Guys: Stay Nice!

For "Nice Guys" Out There: Stay Nice!  Pt.1  

As I was in the car with a guy friend yesterday, he asked me, in earnest, how I would advise him on style and relationships.

My first instinct was to just change the topic, since I love being direct and brutally honest, but I hate hurting the feelings of those close to me.  And I don't really think about my male friends as "clients," so he really caught me off guard.

But sometimes it's worse to leave things unsaid, and if someone close to you who values your opinion asks, then you should feel guilty not to give your best and most genuine viewpoint.

I took a deep breath.

"Well, I don't usually advise friends...but let me see...

honestly-- you're the jovial, happy, caring, 'nice guy' and can never get past the 'friend' zone because most of the women you seem to go after just see you as a friend, and don't want to compromise that relationship."

...pause...now how does a guy change that? Like, get out of the "friend zone"??

Well, girls like bad boys, so how does he become badder?

Me: "Have you ever read 'The Game' by Neil Strauss?"

omg! I almost kicked myself. Why on earth would I ever recommend the book on Secret Lives of Pickup Artists to a perfectly nice, polite, normal guy?

I mean, why would you try to make the good guys bad when, in reality, we should be working to make the bad boys good (or at least 'better')???

So I changed the subject again:

"What kind of girl are you interested in?"

...

So now the matchmaker in me is going to try and find a girl who is sweet, attractive, under 5'4", and who, most importantly, would appreciate how lucky it is to find a genuinely nice guy out there, esp. in LA...

They say "you can't change a man." I agree-- you can't change his personality, or what he wants.  You can change his clothes, most hygiene habits, coach his social skills, etc. (where we come in :)  but you should not try to make a good guy act badly to get a girl.

xo,

Shannon

p.s. ughhh i pity the guys who actually think that book works. I hate being disrespected, and the stupid "slight putdowns" that are supposed to make a girl try to seek your approval? B. Ess. Dear girlfriends-- don't fall for that! Just scoot away and hope he gets a better aftershave next time. 

 Interesting website: http://www.niceguys.org/ Enjoy!